What an exciting time - your child finally grows from his crib into his big boy bed. Or, so you thought. Maybe he could climb out of his crib, but getting out of his bed is simple and fun. Here are a few tips to keep him in his bed all night:
1. Remind him that he has this way cool bed because he's a big boy now. Responsibility comes with that....that means a few rules. One rule is that he must call for you if he wants to get out of bed. At first, he may call for you a lot, but the first step is that he's not allowed to get out of bed without you.
2. If he starts calling for you excessively, explain that the next rule is that there are only certain times when he can call for you. If he's having a bad dream or feels afraid he can certainly call for you. Or, if he has to go to the bathroom, although be sure he uses the bathroom before bed to help avoid that problem. Give him a small drink before bed so he doesn't wake up thirsty.
No doubt, he will cry for you in the middle of the night and tell you he's scared, because he wants to come into your bed. At all costs, try to avoid that. It's easier at times to let him, but once he enjoys the comfort of snuggling with Mommy and Daddy in bed, it will be very hard to wean him of the privilege. Of course, there are special circumstances, such as a loud, scary storm, where you welcome a family bed, but you have to put your foot down on most other occassions.
3. When he calls you, go into his room and ask him what's wrong. If he says he had a scary dream, let him tell you about it and reassure him that it was just a dream and he's very safe. A nightlight by his bed is often important so he can see his surroundings. Tell him you'll stay with him for five minutes until he falls back asleep, but you are very tired and you need to go back to sleep too. If he doesn't fall asleep in five minutes and starts to cry when you try to leave, tell him that you will wait out in the hall for five more minutes, but then you are going to your own bed by yourself. It is helpful to have a clock by his bed so you can show him exactly what five minutes means. You have to follow through on what you say. If he still calls for you, tell him that you are going to bed, he is safe and you both need your sleep. Then, you have to let him cry.
I know that it is so much easier to give in, but if you nip it in the bud right away, he will understand that he has no choice. Then, on the special occasions when you allow him in your bed, he will recognize that it is truly a special occasion.
I have also had parents tell me that they allowed their child in their room, but the child had to lay on a blanket on the floor. This worked for them, although I don't really see the distinction between the floor and the bed. The point is to set the boundary that his room is where he sleeps and your room is where you sleep.
If you have any other suggestions, please hit comment below and pass them on!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Why You Must Make Time for Family Meals
While your kids are still toddlers, you probably have the time to enjoy meals together as a family. Soon enough though, they’ll get involved in sports, art class, religious school, and the list goes on and on. The more kids you have involved in things, the harder it becomes to carve out a half hour for dinner when everyone can be included. It’s really hard sometimes, but you must make a family meal a priority.
Research has proven that kids who eat family meals do better in school and are less involved in dangerous behaviors. The time spent talking, debating, and even arguing over the dinner table, helps forge stronger relationships. When you show that you are interested in what your kids have to say, you will be amazed at the things they choose to share. Not only will you learn more about them, and them about you, but you get the chance to demonstrate that you value their opinions.
I pulled this off the Department of Health and Human Services Website:
*By eating with your children, it is more likely that meals will be healthier and more balanced.
*Compared to teens that have frequent family dinners, those who rarely have family dinners are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug other than marijuana.
*Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can range from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills.
*Parental influence and involvement is an important tool in preventing substance abuse. Regularly sitting down for a meal with your children is one way to connect with them and be involved with what is happening in their lives.
What Should We Talk About?
*Ask everyone to share their favorite part or biggest challenge of the day.
Plan and then let the kids pick tasks for the next day's menu, preparation, and cleanup.
*Exchange memories about your favorite family pastimes.
*Discuss an activity the family can do together and then put it on the calendar.
*Talk with your children about a book they are reading or a movie they have seen. It might turn into a family book club or a regular movie and popcorn night!
*Ask the kids about their classes, homework, teachers, and upcoming assignments. Find out if they would like your help or want to brainstorm on an assignment.
The importance of regular family activities to share ideas and find out "what's happening" is a great way for a parent to be involved, discuss rules, monitor activities and friends, and be a good role model. The benefits of eating together will last long after your meal ends, especially if you make family mealtimes a regular activity. Take the family meal off the endangered species list and move it back to the VIP list!
SOURCE: http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx
Research has proven that kids who eat family meals do better in school and are less involved in dangerous behaviors. The time spent talking, debating, and even arguing over the dinner table, helps forge stronger relationships. When you show that you are interested in what your kids have to say, you will be amazed at the things they choose to share. Not only will you learn more about them, and them about you, but you get the chance to demonstrate that you value their opinions.
I pulled this off the Department of Health and Human Services Website:
*By eating with your children, it is more likely that meals will be healthier and more balanced.
*Compared to teens that have frequent family dinners, those who rarely have family dinners are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug other than marijuana.
*Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can range from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills.
*Parental influence and involvement is an important tool in preventing substance abuse. Regularly sitting down for a meal with your children is one way to connect with them and be involved with what is happening in their lives.
What Should We Talk About?
*Ask everyone to share their favorite part or biggest challenge of the day.
Plan and then let the kids pick tasks for the next day's menu, preparation, and cleanup.
*Exchange memories about your favorite family pastimes.
*Discuss an activity the family can do together and then put it on the calendar.
*Talk with your children about a book they are reading or a movie they have seen. It might turn into a family book club or a regular movie and popcorn night!
*Ask the kids about their classes, homework, teachers, and upcoming assignments. Find out if they would like your help or want to brainstorm on an assignment.
The importance of regular family activities to share ideas and find out "what's happening" is a great way for a parent to be involved, discuss rules, monitor activities and friends, and be a good role model. The benefits of eating together will last long after your meal ends, especially if you make family mealtimes a regular activity. Take the family meal off the endangered species list and move it back to the VIP list!
SOURCE: http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saying Thank You to Your Child’s Teacher
I am blessed to work in a school filled with generous parents. Each winter holiday and every end-of-the-year party brings lovely gifts. Yet, as much as I enjoy the gift cards to fine restaurants and great stores, it’s the words accompanying the gifts that mean the most.
Most recently, a parent presented my teaching partner and me with our class gift. Her words were precious. As a first time mom, she said she was constantly amazed by how much her child was learning. At three years old, she thought he’d learn to play with others, but that was just one small part of what he’d accomplished.
Academically, he could point out numbers in the food store aisles, and read the names of every child in his class. But just as important, he started saying thank you when someone held the door open for him, and was proud to clean up his own toys. She couldn’t imagine how rapidly he was growing and learning. She thanked his teachers for lovingly guiding him down this path.
I am always amazed by how much toddlers learn. They are little sponges who are eager to soak up knowledge. I adore my students but I also appreciate when their parents tell us how they feel. I’ll enjoy a good dinner anytime, but it’s their words that make my job worthwhile.
Most recently, a parent presented my teaching partner and me with our class gift. Her words were precious. As a first time mom, she said she was constantly amazed by how much her child was learning. At three years old, she thought he’d learn to play with others, but that was just one small part of what he’d accomplished.
Academically, he could point out numbers in the food store aisles, and read the names of every child in his class. But just as important, he started saying thank you when someone held the door open for him, and was proud to clean up his own toys. She couldn’t imagine how rapidly he was growing and learning. She thanked his teachers for lovingly guiding him down this path.
I am always amazed by how much toddlers learn. They are little sponges who are eager to soak up knowledge. I adore my students but I also appreciate when their parents tell us how they feel. I’ll enjoy a good dinner anytime, but it’s their words that make my job worthwhile.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Sending Your Kids to Sleepaway Camp for One or Two Weeks
Sleepaway camp can be a wonderful experience for children, making new friends while leaving the comforts of home to spread their wings. It is also a big business. Over six million children attend camp each summer, and of the nearly 10,000 camps in the U.S., about 60% are residential, according to The National Camp Association (NCA). Traditionally, kids have spent four or eight weeks at an overnight camp, but economic realities and lifestyle changes have forced many camps to add shorter sessions to their schedules.
“About two years ago, as a response to what families were telling us they needed, we decided to implement two week sessions,” says Dee Billia, Director of Marketing and Public Relations, Appel Farm Arts Camp (www.applefarm.org) in Elmer, NJ. “It’s been a resounding success.”
The downturn in the economy forced some families to cut back on the amount of time they send their kids to camp. Four week sleepaway camps range in cost from $1,700 to $7,000, according to the NCA, while two week sessions run between $1,000 and $4,000. Beyond the economics, shorter sessions are also attractive to younger and first-time campers who may be nervous about leaving home for too long. “It’s an easy way to introduce a child to camp,” explains Billia.
Family obligations, including vacations, have also made shorter sessions popular. “From the parents’ perspective, they are trying to do more in their summer, and shorter sessions facilitate this,” suggests John Jannone, Director, Ballibay for the Fine and Performing Arts, (camp@ballibay.com), in Camptown, PA.
Camps have adapted their programs to make shorter sessions valuable to campers. Appel Farms specializes in the arts, from theater and dance, to recording and photography. Their two-week sessions are offered at the front end of each four-week session, and are tailored to a shorter curriculum.
Yet, not all programs can be carried out successfully in shorter sessions. Jannone points out that two weeks is too short for a completely individual-choice program, or a program that puts on full-length theater and musical theater. “But for focused art, dance, and rock programs, it is a very good length,” he says.
Shorter sessions are trend that is here to stay. “It’s an extremely positive experience,” concludes Billia. “Any time spent at camp is a great way for the children to learn and grow.”
“About two years ago, as a response to what families were telling us they needed, we decided to implement two week sessions,” says Dee Billia, Director of Marketing and Public Relations, Appel Farm Arts Camp (www.applefarm.org) in Elmer, NJ. “It’s been a resounding success.”
The downturn in the economy forced some families to cut back on the amount of time they send their kids to camp. Four week sleepaway camps range in cost from $1,700 to $7,000, according to the NCA, while two week sessions run between $1,000 and $4,000. Beyond the economics, shorter sessions are also attractive to younger and first-time campers who may be nervous about leaving home for too long. “It’s an easy way to introduce a child to camp,” explains Billia.
Family obligations, including vacations, have also made shorter sessions popular. “From the parents’ perspective, they are trying to do more in their summer, and shorter sessions facilitate this,” suggests John Jannone, Director, Ballibay for the Fine and Performing Arts, (camp@ballibay.com), in Camptown, PA.
Camps have adapted their programs to make shorter sessions valuable to campers. Appel Farms specializes in the arts, from theater and dance, to recording and photography. Their two-week sessions are offered at the front end of each four-week session, and are tailored to a shorter curriculum.
Yet, not all programs can be carried out successfully in shorter sessions. Jannone points out that two weeks is too short for a completely individual-choice program, or a program that puts on full-length theater and musical theater. “But for focused art, dance, and rock programs, it is a very good length,” he says.
Shorter sessions are trend that is here to stay. “It’s an extremely positive experience,” concludes Billia. “Any time spent at camp is a great way for the children to learn and grow.”
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
A New Baby’s on the Way – How to Break the News to Your Toddler
No matter how many children you already have, when a new baby enters the family, everyone is shaken up. Here are some tips to help you make the experience as positive for everyone as possible.
1. Timing is important. When you tell other family members about a pregnancy depends a great deal on each person’s age. Your two year old will not understand what you are saying if he you don’t look pregnant. Nine months is almost half his lifetime and way too long to be told you are pregnant. Wait until you are about five months along. At that point he can see where the baby is, and it gives him enough time to digest the news.
2. Be inclusive. It’s important to include your children in your pregnancy. Let them feel your belly, especially if they can feel the baby kick. That will help them understand that a real person is about to be born. When you begin to set up the nursery or buy things for the baby, let your children be involved. They can help you choose colors for the nursery, brainstorm names, and pick out bottles and rattles. It’s important that they feel part of the process.
3. Make them feel special. Be sure to spend quality time with your child leading up to the birth, making each child know how important he is to you and your family. Stress that because he is older, you will need his help when the baby comes. The new addition will have so much to learn from his big brother and you can’t wait to see what a loving, caring big brother he will be.
4. Ask permission to take your children’s things. For example, if you plan to move your three year into a bed so the baby can have his crib, be careful about how you do that. Begin by telling your toddler that he is big enough now that he can get a big boy bed of his own. Let him help you choose special sheets, pillows, and blankets so that he feels ownership of his new bed. Be sure he is in the bed at least a month before the baby arrives. Then, you can ask him if the new baby can sleep in his old crib since he is a big boy now and won’t need it anymore. Make him feel special to be able to share something so important with his new sibling.
5. Continue to shower them with attention after the baby comes. While everyone’s focus will be on the new arrival, be sure to let your older children know how important and helpful they are during this crazy time. If company comes with gifts for the baby but not the siblings, have a stash of small items that will be special to the older kids. When the company leaves, give your older child a puzzle, coloring book, or similar item as thanks for being such an understanding big brother. Try to take some time when the baby is sleeping to spend quality time with the other kids.
6. Encourage the children to appreciate each other. As your family grows, it is even more important that your kids get along with another, and truly love each other. Sure, there will always be sibling rivalry, but try to find ways to build their relationship as opposed to making them feel like they need to compete for your time and attention.
Congratulations on your new addition! When the baby comes you will be exhausted and there will be chaos for a while. The more you can prepare, the better off everyone in the family will be.
1. Timing is important. When you tell other family members about a pregnancy depends a great deal on each person’s age. Your two year old will not understand what you are saying if he you don’t look pregnant. Nine months is almost half his lifetime and way too long to be told you are pregnant. Wait until you are about five months along. At that point he can see where the baby is, and it gives him enough time to digest the news.
2. Be inclusive. It’s important to include your children in your pregnancy. Let them feel your belly, especially if they can feel the baby kick. That will help them understand that a real person is about to be born. When you begin to set up the nursery or buy things for the baby, let your children be involved. They can help you choose colors for the nursery, brainstorm names, and pick out bottles and rattles. It’s important that they feel part of the process.
3. Make them feel special. Be sure to spend quality time with your child leading up to the birth, making each child know how important he is to you and your family. Stress that because he is older, you will need his help when the baby comes. The new addition will have so much to learn from his big brother and you can’t wait to see what a loving, caring big brother he will be.
4. Ask permission to take your children’s things. For example, if you plan to move your three year into a bed so the baby can have his crib, be careful about how you do that. Begin by telling your toddler that he is big enough now that he can get a big boy bed of his own. Let him help you choose special sheets, pillows, and blankets so that he feels ownership of his new bed. Be sure he is in the bed at least a month before the baby arrives. Then, you can ask him if the new baby can sleep in his old crib since he is a big boy now and won’t need it anymore. Make him feel special to be able to share something so important with his new sibling.
5. Continue to shower them with attention after the baby comes. While everyone’s focus will be on the new arrival, be sure to let your older children know how important and helpful they are during this crazy time. If company comes with gifts for the baby but not the siblings, have a stash of small items that will be special to the older kids. When the company leaves, give your older child a puzzle, coloring book, or similar item as thanks for being such an understanding big brother. Try to take some time when the baby is sleeping to spend quality time with the other kids.
6. Encourage the children to appreciate each other. As your family grows, it is even more important that your kids get along with another, and truly love each other. Sure, there will always be sibling rivalry, but try to find ways to build their relationship as opposed to making them feel like they need to compete for your time and attention.
Congratulations on your new addition! When the baby comes you will be exhausted and there will be chaos for a while. The more you can prepare, the better off everyone in the family will be.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Even Toddlers Can Handle Small Jobs
Most toddlers love to please their parents and teachers. When asked to clean up toys in the classroom, the students beam with pride as they take this responsibility seriously. They will be equally eager to clean their toys at home if they feel that it is their job.
As young as two years old, you can explain to your child that everyone in a family has certain jobs to do and these jobs are very important. His job is to put his toys away when he is finished playing with them. You can help him at first by showing him how to sort the toys (also a great learning skill) such as the action figures from the animals. Be sure your shelves are organized and there is plenty of space on a low shelf that he can easily reach.
When he’s finished, make a big deal about what a great job he did and how helpful he is to you. You might even create a sticker chart that you will fill up with a sticker each time he cleans up. When you reach ten stickers, he gets a special treat, such as an ice cream cone, small toy, special play date, etc.
There are many jobs that kids can do at very young ages. You will need to add more responsibilities as you believe your child can handle them. Helping set the table, putting laundry away, and putting non-breakable groceries in the cupboard are all jobs that toddlers can handle. They will gain pride in helping you and will learn the value of becoming a responsible member of the family.
As young as two years old, you can explain to your child that everyone in a family has certain jobs to do and these jobs are very important. His job is to put his toys away when he is finished playing with them. You can help him at first by showing him how to sort the toys (also a great learning skill) such as the action figures from the animals. Be sure your shelves are organized and there is plenty of space on a low shelf that he can easily reach.
When he’s finished, make a big deal about what a great job he did and how helpful he is to you. You might even create a sticker chart that you will fill up with a sticker each time he cleans up. When you reach ten stickers, he gets a special treat, such as an ice cream cone, small toy, special play date, etc.
There are many jobs that kids can do at very young ages. You will need to add more responsibilities as you believe your child can handle them. Helping set the table, putting laundry away, and putting non-breakable groceries in the cupboard are all jobs that toddlers can handle. They will gain pride in helping you and will learn the value of becoming a responsible member of the family.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Creativity is the Key, Not Perfection
I’ve had students over the years whose parents wanted perfection. Yet, the way three year olds learn is by experimenting. The more they try new things, the more they learn. Even when they create things that seem wrong to you, it is important to allow them creative expression.
One of our projects each year is a self-image picture. The child looks in a mirror and tells us what color his eyes and hair are, and how many eyes, eyelashes, nose, and mouth he has. We then give him an oval shape to serve as his face, and he creates his image. One mother approached me after viewing the self-image pictures that were hanging in the hall.
“My son put his eye where his mouth should be,” she said. “Why didn’t you fix that?”
I explained to her that the process in making the picture was more important than the finished product. To make his picture, her son, Bobby, had to cut out the circles for the eyes, use scissors to fringe the eyelashes, glue them onto the face and then draw the nose and mouth. He then chose the color yarn that he wanted for his hair and attached that to his head. There were many skills involved in this, including correctly grasping a scissor and cutting, holding a crayon, gluing and coloring. I did ask Bobby to look in the mirror one more time.
“Is that where your eyes are?” I asked him.
“They are today,” he said laughing.
For whatever reason, Bobby was in a silly mood that day. He knew where his eyes belonged, but he felt like putting one eye near his mouth. Maybe we had a budding modern artist on our hands! Because Bobby did all of the cutting, gluing, and coloring, we allowed him to be creative and complete his own interpretation of his face. By that time, he was much more interested in playing with the toy truck.
His mother felt that we should have made him fix it.
She said, “But compared to all the other pictures hanging in the hall, Bobby’s looks stupid.”
“Maybe you have the next Picasso on your hands,” I replied. “What is important in this project is the process of cutting, coloring and gluing. These activities all use fine motor skills and you can see that Bobby did an excellent job. I am sure that he knows where his eyes belong on his face, but if he wants to be creative, we prefer not to discourage him.”
I do remember years earlier when I was the mother in the hallway comparing my children’s artwork to that of their peers. It is easy to get caught up in the minutiae of the finished product. Does my child cut as well as the others? Is my son behind the curve?
Yet, the more I have worked with different children, the more I value their individualism and creativity. In preschool, kids are experimenting with different mediums often for the first time. Sometimes, just peeling a sticker off its backing is a difficult task in itself. To observe children using their imaginations in their artwork is a beautiful thing.
One of our projects each year is a self-image picture. The child looks in a mirror and tells us what color his eyes and hair are, and how many eyes, eyelashes, nose, and mouth he has. We then give him an oval shape to serve as his face, and he creates his image. One mother approached me after viewing the self-image pictures that were hanging in the hall.
“My son put his eye where his mouth should be,” she said. “Why didn’t you fix that?”
I explained to her that the process in making the picture was more important than the finished product. To make his picture, her son, Bobby, had to cut out the circles for the eyes, use scissors to fringe the eyelashes, glue them onto the face and then draw the nose and mouth. He then chose the color yarn that he wanted for his hair and attached that to his head. There were many skills involved in this, including correctly grasping a scissor and cutting, holding a crayon, gluing and coloring. I did ask Bobby to look in the mirror one more time.
“Is that where your eyes are?” I asked him.
“They are today,” he said laughing.
For whatever reason, Bobby was in a silly mood that day. He knew where his eyes belonged, but he felt like putting one eye near his mouth. Maybe we had a budding modern artist on our hands! Because Bobby did all of the cutting, gluing, and coloring, we allowed him to be creative and complete his own interpretation of his face. By that time, he was much more interested in playing with the toy truck.
His mother felt that we should have made him fix it.
She said, “But compared to all the other pictures hanging in the hall, Bobby’s looks stupid.”
“Maybe you have the next Picasso on your hands,” I replied. “What is important in this project is the process of cutting, coloring and gluing. These activities all use fine motor skills and you can see that Bobby did an excellent job. I am sure that he knows where his eyes belong on his face, but if he wants to be creative, we prefer not to discourage him.”
I do remember years earlier when I was the mother in the hallway comparing my children’s artwork to that of their peers. It is easy to get caught up in the minutiae of the finished product. Does my child cut as well as the others? Is my son behind the curve?
Yet, the more I have worked with different children, the more I value their individualism and creativity. In preschool, kids are experimenting with different mediums often for the first time. Sometimes, just peeling a sticker off its backing is a difficult task in itself. To observe children using their imaginations in their artwork is a beautiful thing.
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