Family Vacations are Not Just About the Kids

Family vacations are a great way to spend quality time with the whole family. It’s certainly nice to have the kids all to yourself without the distractions of friends, homework, and activities. You can have the time to find out what they are thinking and to forge a stronger bond. Yet, don’t forget about your spouse.

Vacations offer a chance to rekindle your marriage, and remember why you fell in love in the first place. During a time without the pressures of work and carpooling, you can enjoy each other fully. A romantic dinner, walk on the beach, or any activity that the two of you can enjoy together and alone, will do wonders for your relationship.

After 30 years of marriage, I have the hindsight to think about the things that have made our relationship work. For one, time spent just with each other was always a priority. We enjoyed regular weekly “date nights” and always one night alone on the family vacation. Those times gave us a chance to connect and appreciate each other without distractions.

It has also provided a great example for our children, who have learned the value we’ve placed on maintaining a strong relationship. Another bonus has been the bond the kids created on their own when we weren’t around. When they were little and had babysitters, they did things with the sitter that were fun and different. They learned how to go to sleep without their parents around and discovered that their siblings were pretty fun to hang out with.

My husband and I share many interests and can look back on special moments that didn’t only revolve around our children. So many of our friends are now divorced, and I feel especially lucky to have nurtured our relationship as our children grew. Now that our youngest child prepares to go off to college, I am fortunate to have a strong relationship with my husband.

Remember Your Spouse During Family Vacations

We just returned from a family beach vacation. One night my kids, now 22, 19, and 16, asked if my husband and I planned to have a night alone without them. That's a natural question on our family vacations, because in the past, we always reserved one “alone night” for mom and dad. We would either hire a babysitter from the hotel when they were little, or as they got old enough to stay alone in the room together, we’d let them rent a movie.

I’ve been married 29 years, happily, and I think part of the reason is that my husband and I always made time together a priority. Whether it was date night once a week throughout our years together, or a night alone on the family vacation, we found time for each other.

I believe this has been a wonderful example for our children. They recognize the importance for us in maintaining a strong relationship, and frankly, I think they always enjoyed their time together without the parents. As more and more of our friends are separating and divorcing, I can reflect on the value of our time together.

On this particular trip, we opted out of our night alone. Now that the kids are older, we spend less time with them on a regular basis and treasure the time we have together as a family. They have grown into wonderful, enjoyable people and we are blessed that they still want to spend time with us.

Enjoy your family all the time, but don’t forget that you need to also nurture your relationship with your spouse.