As stores bombard you and your toddler with many choices for backpacks, choose wisely. This investment should be able to last the full year, not cost too much, and make your child proud and excited with her choice. Believe it or not, something as seemingly insignificant as a backpack can actually help your child’s transition into preschool.
Though remembering a backpack may seem like one extra thing you don’t want to have to deal with each morning, it is the most effective way for the teachers and parents to communicate with one another.
Please allow your child to help choose her backpack. If she loves Cars or Dora, she will be excited to bring it to school and show it off to her friends. It is also a great way to allow your child to make a decision about something that is important in her life. It is fine for you to limit her selections to just a few to choose from that you feel are appropriate for her but it is important to allow her some independence with this decision.
Today, many backpacks are available with wheels on the bottom. For a middle or high school student who is lugging 25 pounds or more of books, that’s a great idea. But for toddlers, wheeled packs often become troublesome. Sometimes, the backpacks are as big as the child, and it isn’t easy for a toddler to navigate them through narrow doorways and around chairs and toys in the classroom. There is very little weight among the notes and art projects that the backpack must hold, so wheels are just not necessary for a preschooler.
Try to choose one that will easily hold an 8 1/2” by 11” piece of paper. Sometimes, we use larger paper for projects, but we can easily fold those to fit. The backpack must also be able to hold whatever the child chooses to bring in for show and tell. I’ve taught students who came with adorable tiny backpacks, which were easy to carry, but pretty much useless for their intended purpose.
And I urge all parents and teachers to check the child’s backpack every day. Sometimes there are important notes that should be reviewed right away. If your child had a rough night for some reason, it makes sense to give her teacher a heads-up, and the backpack is a great place for such a note. From the teacher’s perspective, there are times we want to inform you of something that occurred in the classroom, and it may be important that you know something that same day. It is a shame when a child doesn’t bring in a show and tell item because her parent never read the note in her backpack.
This is the time of year when you are building up preschool and preparing for a smooth transition. Allow back-to-school shopping to help in that preparation.
Showing posts with label parent teacher communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parent teacher communication. Show all posts
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Teacher’s Role in Potty Training
I am re-running an earlier post about the teacher’s role as it relates to potty training.
In preschool, a teacher’s primary role is to teach. Of course she will love, nurture, serve as a role model, and even change diapers for her charges, but first and foremost her goal is to teach. At times, parents lose sight of this.
At three years old, Colleen’s parents hadn’t started potty training her yet. Every day she would move her bowels at one o’clock, and you could almost set your watch to it. The girl was very regular. Her teacher spoke with her father, and suggested that they work together to begin to toilet train Colleen.
Her father became instantly offended and told the teacher that he would train his daughter when he believed it was time and it was not her place to make that suggestion. He went on to say that changing his daughter’s diaper was the teacher’s job and she shouldn’t complain about doing her job.
This was a disheartening conversation. To begin with, changing diapers is not in the teacher’s job description for a three year old. In many schools, children who aren’t potty trained aren’t even allowed to enroll. While in our school teachers willingly change children out of love and caring, the teacher’s job is to teach, not change diapers. Potty training can be very difficult, and this teacher was willing to help Colleen’s parents with the task. Her father should have not only appreciated her desire to help out, but also her willingness to change his daughter’s soiled diapers so many times. Face it, a three year old’s bowel movement is very different than that of an infant. It is not a pleasant job for anyone.
Some parents have personal reasons for waiting to potty train their children until they are older, even four or five years old. They believe that if they wait until their child is completely ready on his own, it will be a far easier process. If that is how you feel, at least say thank you to the teacher who needs to clean and change your child while she is at school.
And please don’t lose sight of the teacher’s primary responsibility, which is teaching.
In preschool, a teacher’s primary role is to teach. Of course she will love, nurture, serve as a role model, and even change diapers for her charges, but first and foremost her goal is to teach. At times, parents lose sight of this.
At three years old, Colleen’s parents hadn’t started potty training her yet. Every day she would move her bowels at one o’clock, and you could almost set your watch to it. The girl was very regular. Her teacher spoke with her father, and suggested that they work together to begin to toilet train Colleen.
Her father became instantly offended and told the teacher that he would train his daughter when he believed it was time and it was not her place to make that suggestion. He went on to say that changing his daughter’s diaper was the teacher’s job and she shouldn’t complain about doing her job.
This was a disheartening conversation. To begin with, changing diapers is not in the teacher’s job description for a three year old. In many schools, children who aren’t potty trained aren’t even allowed to enroll. While in our school teachers willingly change children out of love and caring, the teacher’s job is to teach, not change diapers. Potty training can be very difficult, and this teacher was willing to help Colleen’s parents with the task. Her father should have not only appreciated her desire to help out, but also her willingness to change his daughter’s soiled diapers so many times. Face it, a three year old’s bowel movement is very different than that of an infant. It is not a pleasant job for anyone.
Some parents have personal reasons for waiting to potty train their children until they are older, even four or five years old. They believe that if they wait until their child is completely ready on his own, it will be a far easier process. If that is how you feel, at least say thank you to the teacher who needs to clean and change your child while she is at school.
And please don’t lose sight of the teacher’s primary responsibility, which is teaching.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Parents and Teachers Must Work Together for the Benefit of the Child
Though it seems so obvious that parents and teachers should be partners for the child’s sake, too often there is a clash. With open communication, parents and teachers should be able to settle any misunderstandings. Both have only the child’s best interests at heart.
Sheila, at three years old, had an extremely difficult time separating from her mother. Each day, she’d cling to her mom, crying uncontrollably. One of the teachers would need to peel the child off her parent, and carry her into class. It would take a good twenty minutes for Sheila to calm down.
What made matters worse, was that Sheila came to school fifteen minutes late every day. By that time, the class had already begun circle time. Not only did Sheila’s arrival disrupt the class, but it took one of the teachers away from the rest of the group as she calmed the child down.
During the third week of school, there was clearly a pattern that had developed. Sheila arrived late and she needed the teacher to help her calm down. On one particular day, the teacher who typically took care of Sheila, was leading a cooking lesson. When the other teacher greeted Sheila and her mother at the classroom door, the mother said that only the other teacher could calm her daughter. As that was not possible, this teacher took the child, and had a conversation with her mother.
She pointed out that Sheila would benefit by getting to school on time. When she comes in fifteen minutes late each day, she misses out on the time the children get to settle into the classroom and talk among themselves for a little while. By the time she arrives, the lesson is already in full swing. The teacher felt that allowing Sheila to be part of the morning routine with the other children would help her separate.
For whatever reason, this mother did not appreciate that advice. In fact, that was the last day Sheila attended our preschool. Maybe the mother couldn’t physically get there any earlier. Possibly she had another child who had to get on a bus, and that was the earliest she could arrive. If that were the case, she needed to explain that to the teacher, so they could work together on the best plan for Sheila. Instead, she became offended by the teacher’s suggestion, and pulled her child out of school.
Remember that teachers and parents both want what is best for every child. Together, we can make their preschool experience great.
Sheila, at three years old, had an extremely difficult time separating from her mother. Each day, she’d cling to her mom, crying uncontrollably. One of the teachers would need to peel the child off her parent, and carry her into class. It would take a good twenty minutes for Sheila to calm down.
What made matters worse, was that Sheila came to school fifteen minutes late every day. By that time, the class had already begun circle time. Not only did Sheila’s arrival disrupt the class, but it took one of the teachers away from the rest of the group as she calmed the child down.
During the third week of school, there was clearly a pattern that had developed. Sheila arrived late and she needed the teacher to help her calm down. On one particular day, the teacher who typically took care of Sheila, was leading a cooking lesson. When the other teacher greeted Sheila and her mother at the classroom door, the mother said that only the other teacher could calm her daughter. As that was not possible, this teacher took the child, and had a conversation with her mother.
She pointed out that Sheila would benefit by getting to school on time. When she comes in fifteen minutes late each day, she misses out on the time the children get to settle into the classroom and talk among themselves for a little while. By the time she arrives, the lesson is already in full swing. The teacher felt that allowing Sheila to be part of the morning routine with the other children would help her separate.
For whatever reason, this mother did not appreciate that advice. In fact, that was the last day Sheila attended our preschool. Maybe the mother couldn’t physically get there any earlier. Possibly she had another child who had to get on a bus, and that was the earliest she could arrive. If that were the case, she needed to explain that to the teacher, so they could work together on the best plan for Sheila. Instead, she became offended by the teacher’s suggestion, and pulled her child out of school.
Remember that teachers and parents both want what is best for every child. Together, we can make their preschool experience great.
Friday, September 18, 2009
What Kind of Backpack Should I Buy for my Child?
Preschool children should bring a backpack to school each day because that is the most effective way for the teachers and parents to communicate with one another. Of course, that assumes that both the teachers and parents check the backpack every day!
Today, many backpacks are available with wheels on the bottom. For a middle or high school student who is lugging 25 pounds or more of books, that’s a great idea. But for toddlers, wheeled packs often become troublesome. Sometimes, the backpacks are as big as the child, and it isn’t easy for a toddler to navigate them through narrow doorways and around chairs and toys in the classroom. There is very little weight among the notes and art projects that the backpack must hold, so wheels are just not necessary for a preschooler.
Try to choose one that will easily hold an 8 1/2” by 11” piece of paper. Sometimes, we use larger paper for projects, but we can easily fold those to fit. The backpack must also be able to hold whatever the child chooses to bring in for show and tell. I’ve taught students who came with adorable tiny backpacks, which were easy to carry, but pretty much useless for their intended purpose.
Of course, allow your child to help choose her backpack. If she loves Dora or Sponge Bob, she will be excited to bring it to school and show it off to her friends. It is also a great way to allow your child to make a decision about something that is important in her life. It is fine for you to limit her selections to just a few to choose from that you feel are appropriate for her.
And I urge all parents and teachers to check the child’s backpack every day. Sometimes there are important notes that should be reviewed right away. If your child had a rough night for some reason, it makes sense to give her teacher a heads-up, and the backpack is a great place for such a note. From the teacher’s perspective, there are times we want to inform you of something that occurred in the classroom, and it may be important that you know something that same day. It is a shame when a child doesn’t bring in a show and tell item because her parent never read the note in her backpack.
Today, many backpacks are available with wheels on the bottom. For a middle or high school student who is lugging 25 pounds or more of books, that’s a great idea. But for toddlers, wheeled packs often become troublesome. Sometimes, the backpacks are as big as the child, and it isn’t easy for a toddler to navigate them through narrow doorways and around chairs and toys in the classroom. There is very little weight among the notes and art projects that the backpack must hold, so wheels are just not necessary for a preschooler.
Try to choose one that will easily hold an 8 1/2” by 11” piece of paper. Sometimes, we use larger paper for projects, but we can easily fold those to fit. The backpack must also be able to hold whatever the child chooses to bring in for show and tell. I’ve taught students who came with adorable tiny backpacks, which were easy to carry, but pretty much useless for their intended purpose.
Of course, allow your child to help choose her backpack. If she loves Dora or Sponge Bob, she will be excited to bring it to school and show it off to her friends. It is also a great way to allow your child to make a decision about something that is important in her life. It is fine for you to limit her selections to just a few to choose from that you feel are appropriate for her.
And I urge all parents and teachers to check the child’s backpack every day. Sometimes there are important notes that should be reviewed right away. If your child had a rough night for some reason, it makes sense to give her teacher a heads-up, and the backpack is a great place for such a note. From the teacher’s perspective, there are times we want to inform you of something that occurred in the classroom, and it may be important that you know something that same day. It is a shame when a child doesn’t bring in a show and tell item because her parent never read the note in her backpack.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
How to Communicate with your Child's Teacher
I'm on vacation, so here's an earlier entry about communicating with your child's teacher.
Inevitably, something goes wrong that causes ruffled feathers among a parent or teacher, or in the worst case, both. If left alone, this miscommunication can fester and grow, and affect the relationship between the parent and teacher. There is no reason that this has to happen. Communication, quickly, and honestly, is the key to getting back on a positive track.
Here's a true story that happened to one of my colleagues:
During the summer camp program, tots come to play games, sing songs, cook, and wade in shallow pools. One summer, during the third day of camp in the two year old program, one of my colleagues gathered together her students’ things to go out to the pool. When she pulled one child’s towel out of her backpack, she discovered that it had been written on in indelible red magic marker. To her surprise and dismay, she read a note that said, “Dear teachers, I do not like to leave camp all muddy and wet. Signed, Rachel’s towel.”
Not believing her eyes, the teacher showed the towel to her teaching partner. Was this for real? As they watched their charges paddling around in shallow pools, they discussed how to handle the situation. They noticed the muddy areas that surrounded the wading pools but acknowledged that there really wasn’t an easy solution. The way it worked was that each morning the maintenance staff would fill a couple of kiddie pools with just enough water that the kids could cool off, have some fun splashing, and get used to “swimming.” After about 15 minutes of this wet fun, the kids would leave the pools and sit on the towels they had laid out under a tent. There, they could dry off while singing songs, playing games and socializing with their peers.
For health reasons, the pools had to be dumped after every class and refilled, which happened probably a half dozen times each day. The way the ground was graded, eventually the water formed puddles because the ground could only drain so much. The kids were corralled under a tented area and oftentimes the water found its way to that spot. Hence, Rachel’s muddy, wet towel.
Rachel’s mother didn’t pick her up from camp that day, so the teachers decided to wait until the next day to address the note. When the little girl arrived, there was another note in her backpack, this time on paper. It read, “How can you women who are mothers put up with this mess? Rachel’s towel comes home dirty every day. As teachers, don’t you feel you have the obligation to prevent it from coming home in that condition?”
The teachers did not share this mother’s view about the situation. They responded in a return note which explained that the area does get muddy at times, though they try to avoid those particular spots. Some kids may drop their towels in the mud or flop down in a wet area - they are only two years old! But it’s important for the children to have a chance to dry outdoors in an area safely protected from the sun, even if that area occasionally gets muddy. It’s equally important for them to be able to wrap their towels around their wet bodies when they walk back into the air conditioned building so they don’t freeze.
The teachers reminded this mother that from the beginning they had urged the parents to send in thrift store towels or old ones ready for the rag bag, knowing that they’d get dirty. They pointed out that it was more important that the children get to enjoy swimming and playing outside than have to stay in because their towels may get messy.
Rachel never seemed to mind if her towel got muddy or wet. She was a happy child who loved the water. Ultimately, the teachers suggested that her mother send in a terry cloth robe that they could put on Rachel while she walked back into the building. That would certainly keep her towel drier. As for the mud, they did the best they could. The irony is that mud washes out, permanent marker does not!
In the end, there were bad feelings on both sides, but that didn’t need to happen. The mother could have found a far better way to communicate her feelings. She immediately put the teachers on the defensive by using the towel as her means for communication. She also personally insulted them by suggesting that as mothers they should know better and that the situation was their fault.
The teachers might have nipped the situation in the bud if they had called the mother as soon as they read her note. Though they recognized her concerns and ultimately addressed them to her satisfaction, the experience would have been more positive had it been handled differently. What if Rachel’s mother had called or stopped by at the beginning or end of the day to rationally discuss the problem? She might have asked the teachers what the pool procedure was to understand why the situation was happening. She even could have come into camp to actually see the pool process in action. That would allow her to tell them that she recognized the problem but had a suggestion for how to handle it.
It is essential that parents and teachers form a partnership in order to most effectively meet the children’s needs. The key to that partnership is communication and that is most effective from the person’s mouth. Remember, teachers are people too, and most of us are also parents. We will listen to your concerns and find a satisfactory solution. The bottom line is that we all only want what is best for your child.
Please share with me a communication problem you experienced and how you resolved it. terribakman@gmail.com
Inevitably, something goes wrong that causes ruffled feathers among a parent or teacher, or in the worst case, both. If left alone, this miscommunication can fester and grow, and affect the relationship between the parent and teacher. There is no reason that this has to happen. Communication, quickly, and honestly, is the key to getting back on a positive track.
Here's a true story that happened to one of my colleagues:
During the summer camp program, tots come to play games, sing songs, cook, and wade in shallow pools. One summer, during the third day of camp in the two year old program, one of my colleagues gathered together her students’ things to go out to the pool. When she pulled one child’s towel out of her backpack, she discovered that it had been written on in indelible red magic marker. To her surprise and dismay, she read a note that said, “Dear teachers, I do not like to leave camp all muddy and wet. Signed, Rachel’s towel.”
Not believing her eyes, the teacher showed the towel to her teaching partner. Was this for real? As they watched their charges paddling around in shallow pools, they discussed how to handle the situation. They noticed the muddy areas that surrounded the wading pools but acknowledged that there really wasn’t an easy solution. The way it worked was that each morning the maintenance staff would fill a couple of kiddie pools with just enough water that the kids could cool off, have some fun splashing, and get used to “swimming.” After about 15 minutes of this wet fun, the kids would leave the pools and sit on the towels they had laid out under a tent. There, they could dry off while singing songs, playing games and socializing with their peers.
For health reasons, the pools had to be dumped after every class and refilled, which happened probably a half dozen times each day. The way the ground was graded, eventually the water formed puddles because the ground could only drain so much. The kids were corralled under a tented area and oftentimes the water found its way to that spot. Hence, Rachel’s muddy, wet towel.
Rachel’s mother didn’t pick her up from camp that day, so the teachers decided to wait until the next day to address the note. When the little girl arrived, there was another note in her backpack, this time on paper. It read, “How can you women who are mothers put up with this mess? Rachel’s towel comes home dirty every day. As teachers, don’t you feel you have the obligation to prevent it from coming home in that condition?”
The teachers did not share this mother’s view about the situation. They responded in a return note which explained that the area does get muddy at times, though they try to avoid those particular spots. Some kids may drop their towels in the mud or flop down in a wet area - they are only two years old! But it’s important for the children to have a chance to dry outdoors in an area safely protected from the sun, even if that area occasionally gets muddy. It’s equally important for them to be able to wrap their towels around their wet bodies when they walk back into the air conditioned building so they don’t freeze.
The teachers reminded this mother that from the beginning they had urged the parents to send in thrift store towels or old ones ready for the rag bag, knowing that they’d get dirty. They pointed out that it was more important that the children get to enjoy swimming and playing outside than have to stay in because their towels may get messy.
Rachel never seemed to mind if her towel got muddy or wet. She was a happy child who loved the water. Ultimately, the teachers suggested that her mother send in a terry cloth robe that they could put on Rachel while she walked back into the building. That would certainly keep her towel drier. As for the mud, they did the best they could. The irony is that mud washes out, permanent marker does not!
In the end, there were bad feelings on both sides, but that didn’t need to happen. The mother could have found a far better way to communicate her feelings. She immediately put the teachers on the defensive by using the towel as her means for communication. She also personally insulted them by suggesting that as mothers they should know better and that the situation was their fault.
The teachers might have nipped the situation in the bud if they had called the mother as soon as they read her note. Though they recognized her concerns and ultimately addressed them to her satisfaction, the experience would have been more positive had it been handled differently. What if Rachel’s mother had called or stopped by at the beginning or end of the day to rationally discuss the problem? She might have asked the teachers what the pool procedure was to understand why the situation was happening. She even could have come into camp to actually see the pool process in action. That would allow her to tell them that she recognized the problem but had a suggestion for how to handle it.
It is essential that parents and teachers form a partnership in order to most effectively meet the children’s needs. The key to that partnership is communication and that is most effective from the person’s mouth. Remember, teachers are people too, and most of us are also parents. We will listen to your concerns and find a satisfactory solution. The bottom line is that we all only want what is best for your child.
Please share with me a communication problem you experienced and how you resolved it. terribakman@gmail.com
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