I often preach the importance of encouraging independence in your toddlers. They need to try things for themselves to discover what the world has to offer. Oftentimes, they will try something new but won’t succeed. Part of the lesson is in figuring out how to do something differently the next time, until they ultimately figure it out.
Kudos to 2 year old Brady’s mom. Her little guy so desperately wants to be just like his 4 year old big brother, that he is constantly trying to do things he isn’t yet ready for. For example, Brady was convinced he could brush his own teeth, and he actually succeeded…sort of.
Brady hopped up onto the bathroom stool and grabbed his brother’s toothbrush from the stand. He found the white stuff that he was sure goes on toothbrushes and began brushing furiously. At that moment, his mom stepped into the bathroom and realized that Brady was brushing his teeth with hand soap!
It’s not so easy to get an overabundance of hand soap out of a two year old’s mouth. Though Brady’s mom was somewhat exasperated, it was actually a wonderful moment for her son. He may have been confused about the toothpaste, but he was successful in brushing his teeth all by himself.
On another occasion, Brady observed his older brother blowing his nose into a tissue. Brady’s mother found him sitting next to an empty box of tissues and a toilet bowl filled with the ones he’d used in blowing his own nose. My kids were pretty old before they could blow their own noses, but Brady figured this difficult skill out on his own. Sure, he used up an entire box of Kleenex, and there could have been a nasty overflow in the toilet, but he taught himself an important skill.
God bless Brady’s parents and all the other parents out there with the understanding necessary to allow toddlers to learn new things. It takes a sense of humor of to be a parent. Remember that in the moments when it’s easy to forget.
Showing posts with label encourage your child to experiment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encourage your child to experiment. Show all posts
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Encourage Children to Experiment and Give Them Time to Get Comfortable With a New Experience
Our classroom is extremely hands-on. In the fall, we go pumpkin picking at a nearby farm. When we return to class, we cut the pumpkin open to show the children the seeds and pulp inside. Each child is encouraged to stick his hand in and pull out some seeds that we will later bake. While most kids are willing to explore the pumpkin’s innards, some are hesitant. Many of them have never seen the inside of a pumpkin before and they are leery of the gooey, moist texture.
Lily was afraid to even peer inside the pumpkin. We talked about what she thought was inside but she was hesitant to even discuss it. She simply wanted no part of the pumpkin project and merely watched as the other children took their turns. A couple of kids only poked one finger inside, while others stuck their entire fists way down in and scooped out a pulpy handful. Lily watched them all.
After the kids who wanted a turn were finished and had washed their hands, we moved on to free play. We kept the pumpkin accessible in case the children wanted to look at it. About 15 minutes later, we noticed Lily gingerly poking first her finger, than two fingers into the pumpkin. She grabbed a seed and quickly pulled it out. That was huge for Lily and we were so proud of her. She was also clearly proud of herself.
When Lily’s mother came to pick her up at the end of the day, she showed her the pumpkin and the seeds we had salted and baked. “I made these!” she said beaming.
After that, whenever Lily was afraid to try something new, we reminded her about her pumpkin adventure. That experience gave her the confidence to try other new things. If your child is hesitant to try something at first, give her the opportunity to try again. Sometimes, it just takes time to warm up to a new idea.
Lily was afraid to even peer inside the pumpkin. We talked about what she thought was inside but she was hesitant to even discuss it. She simply wanted no part of the pumpkin project and merely watched as the other children took their turns. A couple of kids only poked one finger inside, while others stuck their entire fists way down in and scooped out a pulpy handful. Lily watched them all.
After the kids who wanted a turn were finished and had washed their hands, we moved on to free play. We kept the pumpkin accessible in case the children wanted to look at it. About 15 minutes later, we noticed Lily gingerly poking first her finger, than two fingers into the pumpkin. She grabbed a seed and quickly pulled it out. That was huge for Lily and we were so proud of her. She was also clearly proud of herself.
When Lily’s mother came to pick her up at the end of the day, she showed her the pumpkin and the seeds we had salted and baked. “I made these!” she said beaming.
After that, whenever Lily was afraid to try something new, we reminded her about her pumpkin adventure. That experience gave her the confidence to try other new things. If your child is hesitant to try something at first, give her the opportunity to try again. Sometimes, it just takes time to warm up to a new idea.
Monday, September 21, 2009
The Importance of Getting Messy: It Might Even be Good for your Sex Life
There are some children who just don’t want to get messy. They balk at activities that require hands-on involvement, including finger painting, kneading cookie dough, and pushing seeds into potting soil. Sometimes, they are just shy, and as the year progresses, they take steps to further their involvement. In other cases, their parents discourage them from getting dirty, and teach their children to be observers rather than participants.
Throughout the four years or so that I taught Mommy and Me classes, I worked with various teaching partners. While at least half the teachers in our school have teaching degrees, many are like me and come from other walks of life. One of my partners at that time had studied psychology.
During a particular ten week session, one year old Natalie and her mother always came to class dressed impeccably. They appeared to have just walked out of a magazine into our classroom. When it came time to create an art project or do anything that might be messy, Natalie’s mother held her daughter back. Despite our encouragement and coaxing, she preferred to watch. Though we sensed that she didn’t want Natalie, or herself, to get dirty, she claimed that her daughter simply wasn’t that interested in art projects. This child was only one year old.
I understand that parents have their own reasons for the things they do, but in this case we just didn’t buy her argument. It seemed to us that Natalie’s mother was not keen on getting within ten feet of paint, glue or anything messy in the least. Even baking was a problem because we encouraged the tots to stir the mixture in the bowl. Imagine a one year old holding a large plastic spoon, flinging with sheer abandon at a bowl full of flour. Quite a mess at times!
Week after week, we encouraged this mother to dress down for class so her child could partake in the fun. We offered her oversized smocks to keep Natalie clean, and even old doctor’s lab coats to keep herself clean. After about six weeks of this, my partner with the psychology background could no longer hold her tongue. She told me that she had learned that if kids aren’t allowed to touch messy things and get dirty, they’ll have bad sex lives when they grow up.
Really?! While this seemed plausible to me, I wondered if it was really true. Sandra R. Leiblum, PhD, is a leading authority in sex therapy and has published more than 130 clinical and research studies and has edited ten books. She says that there is no objective evidence one way or the other, only conjecture. Yet, she addresses the theory in her book Getting the Sex you Want...A Woman's Guide to Becoming Pleased, Proud and Passionate in Bed, written with Judith Sachs.
“We start our first chapter off comparing two little girls, one who enjoys the experience of being muddy and wet and the other who is afraid to ‘get dirty,’ and suggest that it may have an impact on how they approach the rest of their lives,” says Dr. Leiblum. “But, it’s a literary example, not based in data. Certainly, though one could argue that being overly concerned about neatness and mess would not contribute greatly to feeling uninhibited in bed!”
So, please not only allow, but encourage your young children to explore the world around them, even though it means getting dirty at times. Smocks, soap, and water, are all wonderful inventions!
Throughout the four years or so that I taught Mommy and Me classes, I worked with various teaching partners. While at least half the teachers in our school have teaching degrees, many are like me and come from other walks of life. One of my partners at that time had studied psychology.
During a particular ten week session, one year old Natalie and her mother always came to class dressed impeccably. They appeared to have just walked out of a magazine into our classroom. When it came time to create an art project or do anything that might be messy, Natalie’s mother held her daughter back. Despite our encouragement and coaxing, she preferred to watch. Though we sensed that she didn’t want Natalie, or herself, to get dirty, she claimed that her daughter simply wasn’t that interested in art projects. This child was only one year old.
I understand that parents have their own reasons for the things they do, but in this case we just didn’t buy her argument. It seemed to us that Natalie’s mother was not keen on getting within ten feet of paint, glue or anything messy in the least. Even baking was a problem because we encouraged the tots to stir the mixture in the bowl. Imagine a one year old holding a large plastic spoon, flinging with sheer abandon at a bowl full of flour. Quite a mess at times!
Week after week, we encouraged this mother to dress down for class so her child could partake in the fun. We offered her oversized smocks to keep Natalie clean, and even old doctor’s lab coats to keep herself clean. After about six weeks of this, my partner with the psychology background could no longer hold her tongue. She told me that she had learned that if kids aren’t allowed to touch messy things and get dirty, they’ll have bad sex lives when they grow up.
Really?! While this seemed plausible to me, I wondered if it was really true. Sandra R. Leiblum, PhD, is a leading authority in sex therapy and has published more than 130 clinical and research studies and has edited ten books. She says that there is no objective evidence one way or the other, only conjecture. Yet, she addresses the theory in her book Getting the Sex you Want...A Woman's Guide to Becoming Pleased, Proud and Passionate in Bed, written with Judith Sachs.
“We start our first chapter off comparing two little girls, one who enjoys the experience of being muddy and wet and the other who is afraid to ‘get dirty,’ and suggest that it may have an impact on how they approach the rest of their lives,” says Dr. Leiblum. “But, it’s a literary example, not based in data. Certainly, though one could argue that being overly concerned about neatness and mess would not contribute greatly to feeling uninhibited in bed!”
So, please not only allow, but encourage your young children to explore the world around them, even though it means getting dirty at times. Smocks, soap, and water, are all wonderful inventions!
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