From the Mouths of Babes: Kids Say the Funniest Things

Why are kids so funny all the time? I think it comes with a limited perspective about life. People constantly ask me why I teach pre-school. I spend a lot of my time as a freelance writer, so the combination seems incongruous. I do it because it is so much fun. Every single day, one of the kids says or does something that is hysterical. We laugh a lot in our classroom. Watching kids walk in the door in September with tears in their eyes because they’re scared to leave their mothers, and walk out in June singing a silly song or telling a joke, makes my heart sing.

For example, take the story of Sarah. During the summer camp program, the little girl began searching for something around the classroom. She looked in every child’s cubby, and even on the toy shelves.
“What are you looking for, Sarah?” we asked her.
“Tuesday,” she responded.
“Tuesday? What do you mean you’re looking for Tuesday?”
“My Tuesday underpants,” she replied. “Mommy says this is really screwing up our week.”

I could give you a story for every day of the week! So enjoy the wonderful things your kids say.....if possible, jot them down. When they grow into teenagers, you can pull out your notes and reminisce about the adorable tots they once were!

I Have to Have THAT Teacher

Pretty soon you'll get the letter that announces the teacher or teachers your child will have next fall. With three kids of my own, I had a lot of angst over those letters. The rumor mill ran rampant and getting certain teachers could potentially make or break you and your child.

Yet, now that I'm on the other side of the door, I urge you to keep your cool if the teacher-you-had-to-have is not the one your child gets. I admit, my kids had a couple of really lousy teachers in their long educational careers. But now that my son is 21, how horrible was it really that I found his second grade teacher to be boring and lazy? I have no doubt that he learned ways to compensate, and the truth is, real life isn't always perfect.

Where I teach we spend a lot of time and take great pains to match students to both the appropriate teacher and the best class for that child. It is a long and painstaking process, that is intended to match personalities, temperaments, and learning styles, while also considering the mix of the entire group. Last year the class I taught was phenominal because the chemistry among the kids and teachers was magical. We all got so much out of the year.

So, before you go postal and call the Preschool Director to complain, take a deep breath and consider why your child received that placement. If you feel a call is necessary, be respectful and allow the Director to explain why your child is destined for a wonderful experience. Nine times out of ten, your child will have the right fit. Once in a while, it may not go as smoothly as you'd like, but try to see the positives in even difficult situations, because every teacher has something important to offer her students.

Please Don't Text While Driving

This page typically offers parenting advice, but today I want to focus on the parents. It seems so innocent to text a quick note while you're sitting at the traffic light. It's even likely that you are so good on your keyboard that you don't even have to look at it any more. As tempting, and time saving, as texting while driving may seem, it's a dangerous habit to get into.

New studies prove the point. The Virginia Tech Transportation Institute used cameras to continuously observe drivers for more than 6 million miles. It found that when drivers of heavy trucks texted, their collision risk was 23 times greater than when not texting. This compares to dialing a cellphone and using or reaching for an electronic device, which increased the risk of collision about 6 times in cars and trucks.

Our lives are stretched and we are in constant search of time saving techniques. Yet, think of your kids. There are two possible consequences that should cross your mind every time you text while driving. The first is that you might cause an accident, hurting or killing an innocent child or his parent. How could you possibly live with that? The second is that you might harm your own child or yourself. Again, something you can't live with.

So, please put the phone down. If it's that urgent, pull over. You're quick enough on the keyboard that you can make a pit stop in no time.

Kids and Divorce: How to Help Them Cope

With so many marriages ending in divorce, many involving young children, parents are naturally worried about how to best protect their kids through the process.

According to Allison Granite, MSW, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker who lives and works in Voorhees, “The most important thing parents can do to help ease kids through the divorce process is to constantly reassure them that their relationship with both parents is permanent and continuing. Parents must try to put aside their own personal crisis, which is easier said than done. Tell kids what to expect and give them enough time to process and talk about any major changes, such as a parent moving out of the marital home, before those changes happen. Parents need to be honest, but give age-appropriate answers when their children have questions about the divorce. Remember that although the marital relationship might end, responsible parenting must continue.”

William J. Thompson, Chair, Matrimonial Department at Archer and Greiner, P.C. recommends a few steps that divorcing parents should consider at the start of the process:
• Consider mediation. In many cases it can be quicker, less costly and far less adversarial.
• Be financially aware. You will need to know what assets exist, how much they are worth and how much you owe.
• Know where your money goes. Checking account and credit card statements can help you pull together an accurate and realistic budget of what your family spends and what you will be able to afford in the future.
• Be realistic. It is unlikely that you will receive all the assets or all of your spouse's income. The process is intended to be fair to both sides.
• Keep the children out of the middle. No matter what your spouse's faults, the children deserve a relationship with both parent, and it is not their responsibility to negotiate the divorce.
• Select professionals to assist whom you understand and trust. Ask questions and listen to their advice. A good lawyer will outline the pros and cons of a decision and give reasoned advice.

No couple wants to get divorced, but when it is truly the best thing, you have to work very hard to make the transition as smooth as possible for yourself and especially your kids. Read more in an upcoming issue of SJ Magazine.

Check out the Library

Looking for new, interesting, and cool things to keep your kids learning this summer? You've visited the pool, hit the beach, and have seen every G rated movie possible. You love spending time with your children, but they're getting bored and you're running out of options.

Check out your local library! The library has events for every age group, and toddler story times are always fun for you and the kids. The depressed economy is making the library more popular than ever,as consumers find ways to tighten our belts. Those who might have been regulars at the book store and video stores are choosing to borrow books, CDs and DVDs instead of buying them. Adults who might be searching for new jobs are brushing up on resume and computer skills in classes that the library offers free of charge.

The library staff has accepted the challenge to provide important services for their patrons. After Labor Day,the Burlington County Library System will offer special Friday night activities for the whole family. These include movies, concerts, craft activites, and lots of free family fun.

Burlington County Libraries alone present over 4,000 events each year, including something special for every age group. Starting at birth, there’s Infant Lapsit, which includes story time and socialization activities for kids, as well as a chance for parents to interact with one another. Educational concerts and story times geared toward older kids are also popular events.

So don't forget your local library when looking for an enjoyable activity to do with your kids. And, for more about the Burlington County Library System, check out the Burlington the Beautiful Magazine.

Kids Sick Days

We certainly never want our kids to be sick, but when it inevitably happens, it can be a wonderful bonding opportunity. My 19 year old daughter had 4 badly impacted wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. Her doc said it was one of the more difficult extractions he's ever had, because her teeth were so far up into her sinus cavity. The poor kid is black and blue and in a lot of pain.

Of course, I wish I could take some of her pain away....it just breaks my heart. But I must admit that I enjoy taking care of her. Whipping up milkshakes, playing 500 Rummy, and replacing her ice every 15 minutes are all labors of love that I wouldn't trade away. It's been many years since she's needed me to take care of her like this.

So, when your child gets sick and you have to take off of work, find carpools for your other kids' activities, and rearrange your life without warning, find the silver lining. You get to make him his favorite alphabet soup, play a dozen games of Go Fish!, and cuddle in a way that is very special. They grow up so fast, and while they will always need you, you'll long for those sick days of the past.

Potty Training Tips for your Toddler

I've never heard a parent say potty training was fun, but there are creative ways to find success when potty training your toddler. According to The American Academy of Pediatrics, there is no set age at which toilet training should begin. They advise that the right time depends on a child's physical and psychological development. Between 18 and 24 months, children often start to show signs of being ready, but some children may not be ready until 30months or older. They also advise parents that if their child resists strongly, it is best to wait for a while.

Though the children are supposed to be toilet trained by the time they get into our three year old program, sometimes they aren’t ready yet. In my experience, girls tend to train sooner than boys. Some kids are strong willed and though you know your child could be trained if he wanted to, sometimes you just have to wait until he decides he's ready.

I taught one student whose mother came up with a creative way to entice her daughter to use the potty. At just over two years old, Isabelle’s mother was determined to potty train her daughter. She brought a special potty seat and two packages of Tic Tacs into school, and asked us to place her daughter on her potty seat at exactly 9:40 and 11:15 every day. We needed to instruct Isabelle to sing the ABC song while she was sitting on the potty, and as soon as the song ended, she needed to get up. If she was successful and peed or pooped into the potty, we were to give her one white Tic Tac and one green one.

Though we tried to follow through on Isabelle’s mother’s wishes, that was very difficult to do. With a dozen children and many activities, it was impossible to let those specific times dictate our routine. We did remind Isabelle to try to use the potty a couple of times each day, though the timing varied.

This process actually did work for Isabelle, though her mother was a slave to the process for several weeks. For her, that was just fine, because she got her desired results. It’s important to remember that every child is different, and while that particular process of training worked for Isabelle, it may not work for your child. In creating your own personal plan, you must consider your routine, and how much time you will be able to devote to the process.

According to Dr. Blum, a pediatrician and toilet training specialist at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, “If a child is at home most of the time and has easy and rapid access to a bathroom, than being toilet trained is one thing. If you expect that your kid is going to go to the mall with you, ride 45 minutes in the car, and in those situations, not have easy access to a toilet, that’s a whole other level of difficulty. When you think about toilet training your child you must also consider what you are going to expect of him or her in terms of how long you are going to expect them to be in a place where they don’t have access to a toilet.”

So hang in there....I promise it will happen eventually!